Content

   I feel content today, grateful for the chance that we had to meet with the oncologist yesterday. It was so nice to feel at peace with the things we were told, and pleased with the overall feeling with the staff, nurses, and doctor. The doctor spent over an hour in the room with us, never rushing us, just simply giving us his time and having patience with us as we went over all of our questions and concerns. We really felt good leaving their office yesterday. They took Erics blood to check and see where his tumor markers are at, this will give them the information they need to determine if they want to start with chemo or surgery first. The doctor was so caring and seems to be very on top of the situation. They are preparing Eric to start chemo on monday, and will deal with cancellations and things if the blood work comes back normal. It is soo nice having someone invested in getting this taken care of, he is being proactive and actually moving forward to help us.
  I left their office just happy inside, happy to know that someone has the knowledge to help us and is going to give Eric the attention that he deserves. It really did feel like the doctor was guided by the holy spirit to communicate to us what is needed. I have been replaying some of the things in my mind that we went over, and find it quite amazing that the doctor settled some of the things Eric and I had been disagreeing on, and it truly was an answer to our prayers to have him give us his advice. There is no way that he knew that Eric and I felt differently on where to receive treatment as he offered his advice. Eric and I walked away both happy and comfortable with the decisions that were suggested. Stay here in NV for chemo treatmens and go to Utah if surgery is needed. That just proved to me once again that Heavenly Father is hearing and answering our prayers, and he will even answer prayers through a doctors words. What a blessing.
   Today has brought on its own challenges, Kaizen hasn't been feeling very well. I have been concerned and feeling terrible because we have had to have others watch him for us, and I hate to be giving others his germs. I would never do that to anyone, but under the circumstances it has been nice to know that we have friends here that care for us enough that they are willing to take care of him and risk getting our germs to support us. I took Kaizen to the doctor just to see if he has anything that I should really be worried about, but they think it is just a virus that will have to run its course. So it has been a long day on its own caring for him.
    I spent a lot of time on the phone just trying to get a few things squared around. The oncologist recommended that we store more sperm to be safe as the risk of infertillity is going to increase with further treatments. So I called and ordered another kit. They luckily already sent an extra kit with the first one to have on hand, so I am grateful that they knew enough to understand how quickly these things need to be taken care of. It is a weird feeling to look at these kits and realize what their potential is. They very well contain my future. I can't help but hope that it is enough. I honestly feel like we will have more kids, it is a promised blessing that we have both been given, but no where in the fine print does it mention how. So I know we have to be smart to protect those abilites. And I will continue to hope that it will all work out for the best.
  My visiting teachers came by tonight, so I broke the news to them about everything that has been going on. It gets tiring telling everyone about what we are going through. It is nice for people to know, because we do need the support from our family and friends. But I always wish that I could be saying something better, wish that I had better news to share. Soon we will!
  I had the opportunity to talk to my old boss today that has gone through testicular cancer, it was nice to hear from him. It is good to hear someone elses experience and have the assurance that we will get through this. He actually had a guy in his ward that had it too, and just finished chemo a month ago. So he gave us his phone number so Eric could call and talk to him. Eric has now been able to talk to two people to get their experiences and it is good for him. It is nice for both of us to get a better idea on what to expect and for someone to be honest enough to tell you the truth of how bad it sucks, but you can overcome it. It has given us strength to know that just like them, we can get through this and one day we might be able to offer the support that someone else might need. It amazes me how instantly connected you can feel to a stranger. We've never met him, but it brings an instant friendship.
    I am just grateful for this day, we made progress and progress brings contentment in an overwhelming situation.